How bad is bad?

Six-year-old Grant rushed to the bathroom ahead of his 9-year-old brother, Jackson, after school. Jackson pounded on the locked door.

(From within) Grant: How bad do you have to go?

Jackson: Real bad!

Grant: Mine's double!

Creative Contraction

Grant, 6, Palm Coast, Florida

Grant finished cleaning his room and then walked up to his dad and said, "D-I-D-suppostrophe-T. Did it."

Team Darth

Grant, 6, Palm Coast, Florida

After being told the bad guys in Star Wars are part of the Empire, Grant said, "Oh, so that's their team name?"

It was a dark and stormy night ... But not quite enough

Grant, 6, Palm Coast, Florida

When asked why he slept on the floor of his parents' bedroom instead of on his own bed, Grant said: "There's not enough dark in my room. This room holds a bunch."

Face it, big mouth

Elizabeth, 2, Palm Coast, Florida

Watching her father get a stick of gum out of its package, Ellie said something that sounded like, "Are you going to put the gum in your face?"

Giving thanks for the summer

Grant, 5, Palm Coast, Florida

Some wild turkeys were walking on the grass by the side of the road. Grant observed: "Why are they here when it's not November yet?"

Make it last

Jackson, 8, Palm Coast, Florida

When asked why he used so much toothpaste to brush his teeth at night, Jackson replied through the foam: "That way I don't have to worry about it in the morning."

Breaking news from the Ellie Zoo

Elizabeth, 2, Palm Coast, Florida

It might be a metaphor of some kind, or a message from a pachyderm gastroenterologist in an imaginary zoo, but whatever it was, Ellie said it clearly and in all seriousness: "The elephant pooped."

Emergency hole punch

Grant, 5, Palm Coast, Florida

When asked why he needed a hole puncher in his emergency kit, Grant said: "In case a bad guy comes, you can hole-punch him."

Where the sun don't shine

Grant, 5, Palm Coast, Florida

Grant didn't get very far trying to bury himself at the beach. He pushed sand around his waist and said, "Look, it's a sand diaper."

You make me dizzy, Miss Lizzy

Elizabeth, 2, Palm Coast, Florida

After being spun around by her father, Elizabeth laughed and said, "I get busy!"

Holidays for all

Grant, 5, Palm Coast, Florida

While he was riding through a living Nativity event, Grant noted that one exhibit seemed to have nothing to do with Christmas. "Maybe this one is for Kwanzaa," he said.

Hygiene 101

Grant, 5, Palm Coast

In the bathtub, Grant said, "I'm washing under my arms so I don't get any slime in there."

We all learn from our mistakes

Max, 4, Santa Monica, California
In the car on the way to a Chinese restaurant, Max said without prompting, "Rule No. 1: Don't drink the soy sauce."

Oversight committee

Max, 4, Santa Monica, California

A group of kids were playing a game, pretending to be fish. When asked why he was sitting on a stack of chairs and not participating, Max said: "Mom, I'm the lifeguard."

Fugitives

Jackson, 7, Palm Coast, Florida

When he was threatened to be left on the side of the road if he didn't behave, Jackson said: "But then I might be adopted by a family that smokes."

Jail break

Jackson, 7, Palm Coast

When he learned some people have tried to smuggle drugs into jail, Jackson said: "You mean the kind of drugs that make you stronger so you can break out? Like Barry Bonds?"

Jack-o-lantern guts

Grant, 5, Palm Coast, Florida

While preparing a jack-o-lantern, Grant said: "Did you know that inside a pumpkin is its puke?"

Prioritize

Jackson, 7, Palm Coast, Florida

While tossing a softball with his dad, Jackson said: "I throw with my left hand so I can keep my right hand safe for school stuff. I use my right hand to use my pencil and my scissors and my glue stick."

Cow. It's what's for dinner.

Grant, 5, Palm Coast, Florida

About to order at McDonald's, Grant said with a straight face: "I want a cheeseburger, but with just cheese and cow on it. That's it."