Slow but steady wins their ace

Grant, 4, Palm Coast, Florida
"I won by a nitch!"

At bedtime, a true father-son memory

Jackson, 7, Palm Coast, Florida
Dad: How was your day?
Jackson: I found a little string in the back of my underpants, and I kept pulling and pulling, and now there's a little ball in my underpants.
Dad: Well, we'll have to throw that pair away.
Jackson: Do you want to see it?
Dad: No, thanks.

My kingdom for a Kleenex

Jacob, 4, Tuba City, Arizona
"Mom, you need to buy more tissues so I don't have to keep using my arm."

I think it's actually "Diary"

Grant, 4, Palm Coast, Florida
"I want to read Diarrhea of a Wimpy Kid."

Or ... you might have to be the one to move out

Jackson, 7, Palm Coast, Florida

Talking to his parents, Jackson said: "When you guys are older, you're going to have to get a different house because I can't live with you anymore."

... And it hurts

Jackson, 7, Palm Coast, Florida
"I feel sorry for bees. When they sting you, they die. But I feel even more sorry for us because we don't get as much honey."

A simile to make you smile and cringe

Jackson, 7, Palm Coast, Florida
Answering the question whether his younger brother had had an accident, Jackson said: "My nose is like a snake slithering toward Grant's bottom."

A warm, fuzzy Christmas song

Grant, 4, Palm Coast, Florida
"Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer ... had some very shiny underwear ... "